Sarah has just told me that kissing me - on account of how I've not shaved in a while - is "like kissing a hedgehog".
Am rather disturbed that she knows what kissing a hedgehog feels like. Is her experience of kissing hedgehogs extensive or minimal? Is she, dare I suggest it, cheating on me with a hedgehog paramour, or was it a brief fling with one many years before she even met me?