Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.
How many songs? 8213
Size of library? Don't know, as the iPod doesn't seem to have a feature to list that, but I think I've got about 40GB of music on there.
Length of library? Again, don't know. A lot. (To think, I used to reckon that 1GB was a ridiculously large capacity for a media player...)
Sort by artist....
Last: 10 CC
Sort by song title....
First: The A-Team (Mike Post)
Last: 8891 Royale (trailer) (Keff McCulloch)
Sort by time....
Shortest: Unforunately, my iPod doesn't seem to cover that particular search function. Although I'm hazarding a guess that it might be from the soundtrack of Doctor Who Logopolis, which I ripped from the DVD and then cut up into individual tracks - there are some there that are only a few seconds long.
Longest: As above. There're a fair few spoken word tracks that are in excess of half an hour long (episodes of drama and comedy programmes), but one of the longest actual music tracks I'm aware of in my collection is This Corrosion by the Sisters of Mercy - the version on Floodland is 10:55. Oh, and Tiziano, by Rondo Veneziano, on the Odissea album, lasts 11:31.
Sort by album...
First: The A-Team (7" single) (Mike Post)
Last: 7800 Fahrenheit (Bon Jovi)
How many songs come up when you search for "sex"? 25 results, but there's some duplicates, and it also searches on artist (so David Essex comes up, for example, as does S-Express...)
How many songs come up when you search for "death"? 10. One of which, from Dave Greenslade's From the Discworld album, may be the only one I've got that's actually about the guy with the robe and the scythe...
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? 481 results, but as before they're not just songs - albums, single titles and artist names are also covered by the search. And there's going to be a fair few duplicates in there (there are 7 copies of Love Comes Quickly, and that's before we get to remixes...).