David Brider (davidbrider) wrote,
David Brider
davidbrider

Primarily for Sarah...

...'cos I think we were talking about it at the weekend, briefly, vaguely, tangentially.

But really for anyone who is in need of a giggle.

I give you...

...a classic piece of vintage radio comedy in transcript form:



Bluebottle: What time is it Eccles?

Eccles: Err, just a minute. I, I've got it written down 'ere on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.

Bluebottle: Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?

Eccles: Well, umm, if a anybody asks me the ti-ime, I ca-can show it to dem.

Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man...

Eccles: What is it fellow?

Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.

Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.

Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?

Eccles: Ah, den I don't show it to dem.

Bluebottle: Ooohhh...

Eccles: [Smacks lips] Yeah.

Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?

Eccles: I've got it written down on a piece of paper!

Bluebottle: Oh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.

Eccles: Oohhhh.

Bluebottle: 'Ere Eccles?

Eccles: Yah.

Bluebottle: Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? - 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'.

Eccles: What? I've been sold a forgery!

Bluebottle: No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.

Eccles: Oh dear.

Bluebottle: You should get one of them tings my grandad's got.

Eccles: Oooohhh?

Bluebottle: His firm give it to him when he retired.

Eccles: Oooohhh.

Bluebottle: It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettil, and pours a cuppa tea.

Eccles: Ohhh yeah! What's it called? Um.

Bluebottle: My granma.

Eccles: Ohh... Ohh, ah wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock?

Bluebottle: She's got it written down on a piece of paper!

(From here.



David.
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