Oh no, stop it.
I mean, it wasn't perfect. As with the previous two films, the massive fight sequences had a tendency to bring out the "Shakespeare film review" in me ("full of sound and fury, signifying nothing..."), but admittedly there were some great set pieces in there (the collapsing office block was a wonderful piece of work), and now the Autobots are all vivid primary colours it's a jolly sight easier to distinguish them from the Decepticons. But the plot, I felt, made a lot more sense than the previous two films. For all that Michael Bay gets a lot of flack, I wonder if some of the blame for any shortcomings in the first two films should be levelled at Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman? For all that it pains me, as a Fringe fan, to say that...
The special effects were certainly impressive, particularly when it came to the recreation of the launch and moon landing of Apollo 11.
The cast was pleasantly impressive - John Malkovich was kind of unexpected in a TF film, Leonard Nimoy's tones lent the character of Sentinel Prime a distinguished gravitas, and I fanboy squeed when I recognised Alan Tudyk. Sarah meanwhile squeed when Buzz Aldrin, no less, put in a cameo. On the other hand, Sarah - rather unfairly, IMO, groaned when John Turturro put in his appearance as Seymour Simmons. I mean, okay, the character is there primarily to provide comic relief, but he does it so well.
On the other hand, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was just...I mean, I know that Megan Fox wasn't necessarily the best aspect of the previous films, but at least she could act. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, on the other hand...well, couldn't. Not helped by the unfortunate fact that her character, Carly, came across as bland and insipid, and she appears to have more plastic in her than a whole crate of Hasbro's Transformers toys. Overall, I felt that Sam deserved better. On the bright side, Shia Labeouf is definitely maturing as an actor over the course of the TF films - I really ought to treat myself to some of his non-TF films, with the likely exception of the Indiana Jones one. And Patrick Dempsey was impressive as Dylan Gould, the human villain of the piece.
But really, the problem with Carly was representative of a wider problem with the movie - there were no really likeable female characters at all. In fact, there were hardly any female characters; Carly was insipid, Charlotte Mearing was antagonistic, Sam's mum was fussy, and...that was about it, apart from someone who was occasionally to be seen draped on Dylan's arm but, from what I can tell, had no lines and no significant plot involvement. TF has quite a strong female fanbase, Sarah included, and it would be kind of nice to see women more strongly represented in the next film.
Overall, not a great film, but I've seen a lot worse. It was an enjoyable couple of hours. I'm hopeful that there may be a fourth (and subsequent) films in the franchise - in the absence of (most likely) Michael Bay and Shia LaBeouf, it'll be interesting to see what direction it takes. But I have suggested to Sarah that if the next film ends up coming out in June 2013, I'd happily consider a trip over to the USA for BotCon that year...
In the meantime, I might watch a bit of TFA.